Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
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I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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