i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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