too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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