What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
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I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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