i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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