booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So many bounce houses so little time
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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