Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have aggressive nipples.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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