I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize