'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize