drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize