i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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