can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize