I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize