you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize