yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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