I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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