She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize