she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize