So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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