Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.

  (936): View more from Texas

  haha now u have to piss out ur bum

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  (281): I definitely just put my boxers on backwards. (936): haha now u have to piss out ur bum http://tfl.nu/xfh5
  Replies (10) Good night (1093) Bad night (485)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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  (704): "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization. http://tfl.nu/xva8
  Replies (24) Good night (3964) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.

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  (313): i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried. http://tfl.nu/0j7l
  Replies (59) Good night (1577) Bad night (5272) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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  (610): Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it. http://tfl.nu/l5ke
  Replies (29) Good night (8836) Bad night (1787) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10

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  (559): Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10 http://tfl.nu/1xln
  Replies (13) Good night (6840) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already

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  (707): I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already http://tfl.nu/x0ls
  Replies (10) Good night (4236) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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  (615): If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen? http://tfl.nu/ze7l
  Replies (9) Good night (4350) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon

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  (713): She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon http://tfl.nu/tsuo
  Replies (3) Good night (1441) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it

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  (252): We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it http://tfl.nu/lox3
  Replies (3) Good night (1550) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.

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  (708): as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down. http://tfl.nu/b3e5
  Replies (4) Good night (437) Bad night (2063) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck

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  (519): Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck http://tfl.nu/6ifi
  Replies (8) Good night (559) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he's just a really huge penis that sells weed

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  (978): he's just a really huge penis that sells weed http://tfl.nu/ammy
  Replies (18) Good night (1570) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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  (860): Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now. http://tfl.nu/0rnz
  Replies (4) Good night (2611) Bad night (445)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

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  (252): He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line. http://tfl.nu/pkvq
  Replies (6) Good night (490) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".

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  (920): You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died". http://tfl.nu/180h
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt

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