Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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