My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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