matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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