i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
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Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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