i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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