Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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