She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize