just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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