Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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