I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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