I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize