but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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