Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
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Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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