so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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