Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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