Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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