If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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