I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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