I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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