It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize