found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
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I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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