Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
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i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
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So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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