careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i think i have two assholes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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