so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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