The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
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I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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