Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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