idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
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I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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