You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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