I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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