Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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